Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Haunting Blue Eye

     I have been working for the old man for years, but it was only a couple of weeks ago that the idea of killing him derived from looking at his haunting blue eye. Pardon my honesty, please don't fancy me mad, I don't think a madmen would come up with such a brilliant plan.
     Every day, I grew impatient and did my work in a cursory manner every time the old man look upon me. I finally succumbed to my need of corroborating the old man was asleep by going into his room every night ever so gingerly, ever so quietly.
     Every night, for seven nights I came into his bedroom, I saw every detail that concerned the old man, and endeavored to be silent so he would not wake up, never in an abrasive manner. I examined him closely every single night only to find him clad in his white sheets sound asleep. What could I do? I had strong feelings for that man, but his haunting eye, oh that eye, it chased my worst nightmares and my daily life how could I kill the old man when he slept, his eye was closed and the thought of harming him like this made a grimace cross my face. 
     The eighth night I was ready to go into his room when I surmised he was asleep. I went in very quietly as if to simulate a sly cat, only to realize his vulture eye was wide open. I was electrified and in shock. Suddenly the room started spinning around me but I kept very still as the old man demanded to know who was there, but I could feel my throat dehydrate and I grew only slightly nervous. Before proceeding I ran a quick inventory of the things that I had with me, my flashlight alright and some extra batteries.     
      Everything was set, the time to get rid of the vulture eye had come. With a quick movement, I took the mattress and heard a shriek, only one. The heart beat. His heart beat. Then, nothing. There was no blood, no mess, nothing gruesome. I let the realization of what had just happened sink in. It was gone, oh yes, it was gone for good, that deep blue eye would never again chase my thoughts day by day. 

7 comments:

  1. Great Post!!!! I really like how you used the Wordly Wise Words! Great Job

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  2. I really liked the story. You really polished this story well and you used every word correctly. I also really enjoyed the strong finish. You did a very good job...

    Ben

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  3. Great story. i liked how you made it sound like the killer . every vocabulary word was use right.

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  4. Good job Angelica! It is very well written. I love how you used the world succumb and corroborate the most, but every word was used corrrectly.

    -Ana Gabriela Luna :)

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  5. Very good story, I liked the words you used and the use of the WW Words. They were all used correctly and I like how you fixed your last sentence.

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  6. Very cool story, I could really get into it as if it was me...(mind movie). i also tought it was really interesting how you created a scenario where you are in the shoes of the killer. Vote Angelica for president! :D

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  7. Great story, you used the WW words correctly. My favorite part was how strong the ending was. You are a great writer.

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